I was not yet a devotee. I had only just finished my course. I had no clue or direct experience of AOL as an organization. It was the July 4th long weekend and all my friends were out traveling / celebrating .
I vaguely remember my sharing at the end of the Basic Course -....ramblings....more ramblings....teacher says ' say 1 thing' ....I say: "This is going to be an important part of my life from now on" .
Well it was important enough for me to say "No" to my friends on a long weekend and join a bunch of singing, ecstatic folks driving 5 hours north up to Lake Tahoe to see someone, I knew nothing about .
When I look back I realize, this pull was irresistible, I had no other choice.
We were accompanied by people that were mostly strong devotees. Occasionally they would ride along for a small part of the journey and sing bhajans or talk knowledge or discuss Guru stories. All this was strange to me.
Finally we reached the beautiful South Lake Tahoe and drove along to the resort where Sri Sri was conducting an advanced course. We parked and started walking towards the venue when IT happened.
A frail looking man with flowing hair and a beard was walking towards a car parked in front of the venue. Accompanying him were about 10 swamis - evident from their shaven heads and saffron robes. Those were the days when Sri Sri was still relatively accessible in the US. He walked to the waiting cars and waited for the swamis to take their seats first . I still distinctly remember him saying "Banni....Koothkoli.....Koothkoli" (Kannada for 'Please come - be seated').
As he passed me, I waited and stood still not quite knowing what the appropriate response ought to be. I was not yet in love - just saw Him for the first time - respect I did have - not really sure . Thus spake my mind as He passed me and gave me - the look - and as I bowed - walked on .
"Banni ...Koothkoli.....Koothkoli"....the cars were filled up and He was gone . Little did I realize then that the LOOK would change my life forever.
My next opportunity to see him was at satsang that evening - my first satsang with HIM. The room was abuzz....Divya, John and other old-timers rocking the satsang, folks in the room seated with eyes closed, folks at the edge swaying in a trance....all strange yet strangely comfortable and acceptable. 'J' and I were asked to sit close to the stage which we did...and after a while we left. We had decided to only stay for that day (looking back I feel like a fool) .
As soon as we left the room, we looked at each other and said the same thing " I still don't think he is God or anything :)" . Looking back I always smile broadly.
Looks :
A devotee , NR , now in the Bay Area, tells me of his look. Guruji arrived for satsang in the Bangalore Ashram and passing him , gave him the look. Since that moment, NR did not smoke or drink or while his weekends getting drunk with friends. His life changed and he is an AOL teacher today .
Someone shared something beautiful about their "look" today - so beautiful and true : His look was more loving than a mother's, more concerned than a father's ,more intimate than a partner's and more caring than a friend's. I could not have said it any better.
Over the years there were many more such looks - each one a definitive milestone on the path of grace and growth . More about them in later posts.
Did you have a look that influenced/changed your life ? Please share it in the comments.
Jai Guru Dev,
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