As 2008 winds down, time for some soul searching and perspective. Undoubtedly 2008 has been the most challenging year of my adult life. A crisis that started in Jan this year continues to be the mainstay of all my activities and decisions.
It also marks the lowest point in my participation in Art Of Living activities for the last 7+ years in terms of taking courses or volunteering. The total and complete preoccupation with my situation has made it impossible for me to do any justice to either of the above.
Which led me ponder - Am I being spiritual enough ?
Or rather - What is being spiritual ? For long I have equated my spirituality with the regularity of my daily sadhana, regular long kriyas, satsangs, taking more courses and of course seva. I have been quite regular - or rather life has been very gracious in allowing me to be regular with the first two - without which I have no idea how I would have made it thus far.
It took me a while to get the significance of regular Part II courses - unfortunately I managed to do only 2 of these before life caught up. Satsang - I was just getting to realize the importance of being regular. Seva - a touch and go for me most of the time, but something I did whenever I could. Being with Guruji - 2005 and 2006 offered me so many opportunities to meet Guruji that I was beginning to get used to it .
And then 2007 happened.
Once the nectar has been tasted, staying away from it is P A I N F U L. This has been my direct experience in the last year of not being able to participate more actively in AOL satsangs, courses and seva.
But then what does Part I teach us ? Accept situations as they are !
And why ? Because these situations are going to come in life. What is the point of this knowledge if I cant apply it when it matters the most ?
At some level I have come to realize that one reason I loved participating in the aforementioned activities was the social interaction it offered. Am I missing my Spiritual hang outs :) ?
Another realization for me is that it is super hard to completely give of myself. I have imagined doing this for a loved one, but now being faced with it, I realize I have come up short - quite short.
Perhaps this is the lesson Guruji is teaching me - to accept the situation and be with it completely and not see it as different than any of the other things I would rather be doing right now .
On the positive side I am able to see I am deeper than what I thought I was, more dispassionate, less attracted to pleasure and closer in my heart to Guruji.
Sometimes Being Spiritual is just Being .
Jai Guru Dev,
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
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You sir, are one of the most honest persons I ever met/read/heard.
ReplyDeleteI always feel that the words a person uses reflects his/her state of mind..Even with all the problems, you appear to be so balanced. You don't appear to be hidden in a mental cocoon. You are not even afraid to talk about it..The fact that you are taking this as an event in life just like any other event is an achievement in itself.
I will pray that 2009 brings more "reasons" to be happy..I will also pray that you achieve the state where you won't need a reason to be happy.
Happy New Year...
Jai Gurudev
Jai Guru Dev Anusha : Thanks :)
ReplyDelete"I will also pray that you achieve the state where you won't need a reason to be happy."
I will pray for the same for you as that is probably the highest one can wish for someone else .
Hi There...
ReplyDeleteBeing spiritual? Can you become spiritual? Who can be spiritual? There is only being...Everything else is an appearance. Contemplate for a few minutes on this..
Love...
Hello seeker,
ReplyDeleteYes thats a deeper level of the truth as expounded by the scriptures such as the Yoga Vasishta. But this post (and this blog) are about my journey towards this reality which until fully realized, is only a concept. As you yourself say we are "seekers" and are "in search of" ........
Jai Gurudev,
:)
ReplyDeleteLove always...