Who Am I ?

Where do you work ?

A common refrain that inevitably follows the initial customary "Hi/Hello", in the professional world. I've have asked and been asked this question a few hundred times in my life. There was a time when I took pride in this question. Immediately I would blurt out "I work as XYZ for ABZ co" and wait for that look or sigh of admiration from the fellow conversationalist. My biggest fear was being unemployed and the most stressful times were the times of layoffs - a frequent phenomenon in my company in the 2000 - 2005 period in the Bay Area. I prided myself on my work and didn't think much of life outside of it . Constant comparisons with the progress of my friends, colleagues and college mates was my mind's primary occupation.

Along the way came the Part I course, Ashtavakra, Yoga Vasishta, Part II , satsangs, seva. And slowly the belief began to solidify that I was indeed being taken care of. A larger perspective to life began to emerge and a life outside of work, promotions, stock options, office politics, 11 pm coffee breaks began to take shape. Spirituality and my other passion - going back to the academic world - began to take precedence and the feverishness and attachment with my job slowly began to drop.

Today I am jobless (yes - and no I don't feel like a smaller person because of it) and am comfortable seeing it as a phase of life just like the time I was employed. Life is indeed an interesting journey - When I had a job, I lived in constant fear of losing it. Now I have no idea if and when I will get back to work on the same terms as before and I am at peace. Happy I am to have dropped this one strong identification.

My association with the Art Of Living and Guruji are clearly what I value the most. I don't miss work but I do miss the satsangs, courses, being with Guruji a LOT .

Life indeed is a spiritual journey. I play many roles that of a student, professional, family member, friend, colleague. These roles sustain me in a society that demands that one play these roles and accords me a social status based on my degree of success in these roles.

But the most important relationship - that of me with mySelf - independent of what society thinks or says - is what matters in the end.

Jai Gurudev,